- a conversation that 'never happened'
- a covert operation
- dumpster diving
- a homeless man
I confess, I am not above dumpster diving. I have, on occasion, fished discarded pieces of furniture off the curb in order to bring them home and treat them to a make over. This piece here is one of those lucky ladies.
So, the following day at 12:05, I sauntered in, holsters dangling at my thighs, ready for a fight if need be, when a problem presented itself.. A quick lap revealed the absence of a particular 9 drawer. 'where is the matching 9 drawer for this armoire?' I panicked at the first employee I found.
She did a lap of the 'back room' and came back empty handed informing me the piece must have 'been sold already'. This puzzled me a bit, because although I liked the piece, it really wasn't a show-stopper, and I doubted it had been purchased and departed so quickly. I went on a mission. I drove the Mazda 3 around the back of the store, and sure enough, there was my sought-after 9 drawer dresser perched in the dumpster - minus the drawers. The drawers it seems, had already been picked up by the garbage trucks, but the body was still sitting skeleton still in the cold noon air. Vaguely I recalled the store clerk telling me how they had been 'inundated' with donations recently. No room at the Inn it seemed. Dang.
But wait! She wasn't alone. Stood amongst her and several other abandoned pieces was an adorable petite china cabinet. After sizing her up good and proper, and dancing a little jig, I pranced back into the shop and asked the store clerk if it would be ok if I rescued one of the orphans in the dumpster. 'Oh no, you mustn't,' she replied ' that would be stealing'.
Stealing???? How is it stealing if its in the dumpster preparing to make the long walk to the garbage tip? 'Oh no you just can't, we NEVER HAD THIS CONVERSATION' she responded. Oh, I get it, I thought, she's giving me the wink and the gun! Perfect.
Fast forward five hours and pan in on a certain Ms. Bond, and a Mr. Chuckles hunkered down in a Mazda 3 under the cloak of darkness. 'Do you think he's homeless?' I muttered, 'Um, I'm not certain, but he's digging in the dumpster at 11pm...so, uh, quite possibly.' Yes, it seems Mr. Chuckle's and I were not alone in our efforts to 'steal' some refuse from the dumpster during the witching hours. We cowered in the shadows and watched the homeless man for about 15 minutes. He seemed to be interested in many different things in that dumpster, but fortunately our china cabinet was not one of them! Chuck and I had a good laugh at the depths to which we had sunk; both bedecked in black toques and matching black clothes, sitting in the shadows, waiting for an opportunity to 'steal' an old cabinet. But hey, a free piece of furniture is a free piece of furniture.
Finally homeless man peddled away and Mr. Chuckles and I were free to move in and close ranks around the cute china cabinet. Like a good formula one team, we had that piece loaded in 8 seconds flat. No cop stood a chance!
I'm not making excuses, but the lighting was really bad for these pictures, it looks cuter in real life. Below is the pic of the before.